I’ve been thinking about this post for a very, very, very long time. I’ve written I don’t know how many drafts. I am struggling find the right voice to both not sound completely entitled and bitter, but also to convey the immense gratitude I feel towards so many of my readers.<\/p>\n
This is not a good-bye post per se. This is a “blogging hasn’t been working for me for a very long time and I’m trying to find another way to share what I want to share so I’m going to be quiet for a while” post.<\/p>\n
Every time I start to get enthusiastic about blogging again, something comes up that dampens that enthusiasm. I recognise that a huge part of that has to do with how both the blogosphere and I have come of age in the decade since I started doing this. The default mode online these days is to not only take personal offence at everything, but to be very judgemental. I’m finding myself dreading the “you’ve got a comment” emails when I used to be excited by them. (Let me stress here that if you’ve commented in the past weeks and your comment is still there, you are most definitely not part of the problem!)<\/p>\n
Coupled with that is that I have finally grown into myself as a person and to put it very bluntly, I don’t have the patience to deal with other people’s bullshit and fragile egos anymore. There are too many wonderful people in my life for me to expend energy on disrespectful people or to defend myself against a completely innocent comment that someone chose to see as offensive.<\/p>\n
I’m also uncomfortable with the level of energy a couple of readers have spent thinking about me lately — it borders on stalking and I wondering what if the next such people aren’t harmless? I’ve always been careful about my personal security as I travelled and it seemed easier to keep an air of mystery to my location when I was hopping around. Now, it’s probably impossible.<\/p>\n
I have met some truly incredible people in my travels and made some genuine friendships. Readers have sheltered me and fed me, provided me with a listening ear, taught me so much, and more. I have enjoyed meeting so many of you over the years and I should be meeting another one of you in the next couple of days (waves to D&L!).<\/p>\n
One thing I am considering is finding a way to keep the blog for a closed group only. I just haven’t figured out a way to do that what wouldn’t result in my accidentally omitting someone who should have access. It’s easy to send out invites to anyone who emails me off blog, who hasn’t been banned from commenting, and who interacts on the Facebook page, but I don’t want to omit all lurkers by default. I guess what I’m trying to reach at is that, should I decide to keep on blogging the way I’ve been doing, I want to know who is reading my blog and limit access to it.<\/p>\n
But right now, blogging isn’t something on which I want to expend any energy. I’ve got too much going on with work and my new house and discovering M\u00e9rida. I’m looking at maybe “micro blogging” on my Facebook page or Instagram, but that’s just a thought at this point.<\/p>\n
For those of you who come here genuinely interested in what I’m doing and who care about me, I want you to rest assured that I’m in a really good place right now. Yes, a few bad apples have definitely contributed to ruining this for the rest of you, but, really, this choice at this time is motivated more by how many positive things are going on in my life right now than by jerks behaving badly. Frankly, it is a relief to me that something needs to give in my life and that I’m electing to spend less time at my computer online and more time out in the World.<\/p>\n